There is not one special memory I have that does not involve my grandmother (Gram). She never missed a birthday or a sacrament. She never missed a graduation or a school play. Every season she came to watch a game of a sport that I was playing at the time that meant sooooo much to me (or so I thought). But of course, I never ended up pursuing that sport for more than a season or two. To Gram, it did not matter how big or small the event was...she was there.
I will always remember Christmas with her on Goshen Road when I was very young, lunches and poolside afternoons at Hershey's Mill, daily chats on our family vacation at Lake George, and the "Gram-isms" she would say to make me feel better if I was feeling down. She always knew what to say and she always made sure I knew that "God will never give me more than I can handle." After talking to her, I always left the conversation feeling comforted and ready to handle whatever life had to offer. Sometimes, Gram would even relate what I was going through to something she experienced with one of her seven children when they were growing up. Sometimes the stories were funny and made me laugh while others made me realize I am not the only person who experiences their bumps in the road. Most importantly, Gram made sure I knew whatever I was going through, I would never have to go through it alone because she was there for me.
Gram and her beloved husband, my Pop, are the reason I am here today and living the wonderful life I have. Gram and Pop were married for 58 years, raised seven amazing children who went on to have me, my brother and sister and my seven cousins. Growing up, I knew that being a "Higgins" meant understanding the importance of God and the importance of family. When I was young, I always thought having uncles, aunts, parents and cousins who all got along with each other (for the most part ;) ) was normal. It was not until I was a little older that I realized my family was special. And all of this began with two people...my grandparents. I know it was not always easy for them, but with a little (ok a lot) of help from God and with the support of each other, Gram and Pop were able to instill in every single one of us a sense of family.
As you all know, I am living and working in Spain. Leaving home in September was hard but I knew I would never forgive myself if I did not take this opportunity to teach and live abroad. I was lucky to have everyones' support when I made this decision. The people who were the most supportive in addition my parents and siblings were my grandparents. When I studied abroad here in the Spring of 2010, Gram asked if I was going to be keeping a journal. I did and when I returned, Gram borrowed my journal for a week and read the whole thing. She knew I had fallen in love with this city and when I told her I was returning, she was thrilled for me. She told me, "Bridget, I read that journal and I know how much you love it there. You are young so go do this while you can." And that was Gram. She always put other peoples' best interest before her own. I knew as well as she did that anything could happen while I was here, but she never once made me feel the least bit of guilt about leaving.
I knew that Gram was sick when I left, but as far as I was concerned, it was nothing a little medicine could not fix. That was why I was shocked to receive the news, three days after I landed in Spain, that she needed open heart surgery. The first thing I did was call Gram's hospital room. She was amazed that I could call her from Skype and I ended the conversation by saying, "Hang in there Gram, I love you, and do not worry because I will see you at Christmas."
I was shocked to find out that a couple of weeks after the surgery, Gram was not going to make it. She could not recover. This past Thursday, I awoke at 2 am to a phone call from my mom. She told me that on Wednesday night, six hours behind my time in Spain, Gram had passed.
At first I thought, how is my family doing, especially my father who is Gram's son and how am I going to get through this without my family. Then I realized I do have someone helping me through this and that person is Gram. She always made sure everyone was taken care of and she put everyone first. I have no doubt she is up in heaven and she is taking care of me from up there. She knows I am sad and I have been through some really rough times since Thursday, but when I woke up this morning, I felt like I was ready to handle this. It just took me a few days to realize that Gram never left and she never will leave me. I have another angel looking down on me and if anything, my experience here in Spain is going to be worth it because she is up there guiding me through it. I also feel lucky because I can remember Gram as the strong and proud woman that she was when I left her. I never had to see her suffer. I am happy my last memory of my grandmother was seeing her in her house before I left for Spain, excited for me and ready to hear about my stories from abroad.
My last words to Gram were "I love you, see you at Christmas." And I am happy they were my last words. In Spain, the people here do not like to say "Adios" because it is so permanent and signifies that you will never see that person again. So instead they say "Hasta luego" which in English means "See you later!" So Gram, coming from your granddaughter, I would like to say "Hasta luego" because I know that when my time comes, I will meet you in heaven and I will see you again! I love you.
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